He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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