Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
