I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
