Say something about gay babies.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
