Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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