Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
