Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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