im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
from now on my penis is your penis
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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