awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
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He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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