Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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