Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
