Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
