He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
