I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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