Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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