is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
