I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
