he thought i was a dude.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
