i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
