Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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