So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
