She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
