I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
