If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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