I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
