Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
