He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
