Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just cropdusted the office
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
