You made me cry and you don't even care
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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