just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
