They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
