This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
