The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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