rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
