No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
