So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
