Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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