forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
