i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
