Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
