He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
