Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
