Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
