plz talk dirty to me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
