Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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