U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
