I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
