I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So much rum. So many feels.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize