That's when you crack a 10am beer
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
