We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize