i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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