He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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