dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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