Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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