UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
nutella sex= disaster
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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