I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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