please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
