were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
