so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize