I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
