You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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