i barfeds in our rink
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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