I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
