nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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