I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
