Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
