You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
